Did you know I spent my early teens playing flash games? I’d frequent Newgrounds, spam the forums with worthless opinions (racking up a post count north of 20k), then make use of the flash films/games as being the icing around the teenage-annoyance cake. And once the editor pushed play diepio online for free to me, I found myself suspicious.
Initially, I thought to ask: “How do you realize I utilized to play flash games on Newgrounds?”, but thought he’d suspect something. Not only, generally if i was wrong, would he start carefully and systematically comparing Newgrounds general posts with my general awkward demeanor to track down younger me but, basically if i was right, he would know I had been to the bastard. Then the editor would foil living plans by occasionally whispering during my ear: “hey, remember this gem of any Newgrounds general post…”, thus bit-by-bit destroying what little confidence I have got left.
Like most narratives, I was asked who’s tale it was. So, one splash of water around the face later, I realized it wasn’t a philosophical question of free-will but just asking me my name. Although, noticing this is a web-based multiplayer title, I was thinking I’d hide how I’d be examining this video game having a critical eye as part of my job. So off I went. The tale of “NotAJournalist” had begun.
Naturally, like the majority of free-to-play PvP titles, Diep.io starts off with a whisper. You are a runt, the bottom of a pile, in the bad world seeking to shoot you in the back of the head. Or a small, circular tank floating amongst other shapes and other tanks. And So I did the obvious thing: I blew through the squares, triangles and pentagons that hung out passively while dodging all of the circle with names on them. Yes, the aesthetic may be recreated with MS Paint and the only thing that may be missing is Comic Sans.
Each level offered me deciding on a upgrade: Regen, health, bullet damage, bullet speed, rate of fire, bullet penetration, body damage (collision damage), and movement speed. Something that became immediately obvious was that if I planned to reside more than a young child inside a paddling pool of concentrated hydrochloric acid, then I would be required to pick regen at some time. Without this, I would be worn over time like said child from before.
Eventually, I leveled past the “spitball-n-straw” stage and was asked generally if i wanted a piece of equipment-gun, a sniper rifle, a dual-barrel assault rifle, or in order to shoot forwards and backwards while spinning madly similar to a ballistic hedgehog. Since I’m the particular simpleton to experience as Soldier 57 on Overwatch, out from fear of confusion otherwise, I went with all the assault rifle option on my own tank.
Ultimately, like other things, my time with Diep.io got to a stop once i began picking fights with many other players. Despite the very best damage output I could possibly muster, one of the most speed, a sizable regen pool, and much more health than I knew what to do with, other players were quickly able to put me within my place. I’d be chipping away at their cathedral of health with my toothbrush shiv and they’d just sweep me aside with an almighty paw without noticing I ever existed.